back lerx. Hmm. Yaa. Yesterday went to celebrate national day. Was with dear at first, then meet upp yuzhen, Terence, qianhui and Julian. Yupp. Then six of us walk around together.

Haiz. Dear pissed miee off again. I'm like, watt the hell. I know he is jealous about miee going to ice skate with my friend, but can't he just tell miee that nicely so I will not go with my friend? Instead of shouting or scolding miee, why can't he try to talk to miee nicely? Why must he try to be harsh to miee? Make miee want to go against him even more? I'm not the type who will take scolding lolz. The more youu scold miee, the more I hate it! I got so pissed until I actually walk away from the group lolz. Don't feel like seeing him at all lolz. In the end join back the group, cause qianhui called, say Hani they all there also. So was thinking of going back to say hi to them or something. Soon after, I reach and said hi to them, dear and Terence was on their way back to meet them lerx. So miee and qianhui go away first. Then dear and Terence came after us, looking for us. We got away from them, like playing hide and seek like that lolz. Then after that went to meet zhen and Julian. Then go look for foodcourt, cause qianhui hungry. Then go lolz. In the end dear and Terence got to meet upp with us in the end, cause zhen told Terence where are we. At first see that moron was feeling very angry still, don't want to see him at all. Then in the end he use tiramisu to coax miee. Say sorry to miee and make miee laugh and I thought this would be the end of our unhappiness. To my dismay, it is not! On the way back, he started to reprimand miee again! Which I'm like, ''watt the hell, just now youu just said sorry to miee, now youu start again!!!!'' in the end still ended my day with unhappiness. Each time I go out him, it would be a sad ending. Seldom will be happy. I thought it would be like when I'm out with my NCO friends, happy beginning, happy ending. Though we will be feeling sad because we will not know when the next time is we are seeing each other but when we are together, we will never make each other feel sad. Why can't dear do this? Really lolz! When I'm out with my NCO friends, he will be unhappy. Has he ever thought of why I prefer to be with NCO friends? Cause they really know how to cheer miee upp. Why dear can choose to be with the people he wants to be with and I can't? Why am I always the one who spare thoughts for him before I do anything? Why must it always be miee who is concern about this relationship? I thought love takes two? Then why am I the only support for this relationship? I'm feeling tired lerx. I can't be the only support for this relationship, I really can't. I need his support too. I need him to really support this relationship before it turns sour. I feel that I'm really being unfairly treated. Why he can have all he wants and I can't? I'm really sick of it, very!!!!!!!

Haiz. Dear still can't give miee watt Kris has given miee. The kind of trust and faith that I have towards him seems to lessen each time he hurts miee. Why can't he be like Kris? Be with miee when I needs him, let miee confide when I'm troubled? Give miee advices and help miee with my problems? Kris darling, my heart is aching. I'm so hurt. =( Sobs.

Yesterday Terence was like telling to give dear some time to change himself. But I doubt dear will make much changes bax. Haiz. If separation the only way out? I don understand why must the both us end upp like this lolz. Really, I want to keep him by my side, which is why I choose to go back to him. However, once and again, he made miee so unhappy. I remembered HE told miee when we broke upp, HE wants dear to treat miee well. HE hopes I'm happy. However, I'm like that now. Ohhh goshh. Have I done something wrong? Everything seems to be so fine at the beginning. However, why it is like that now? I don't know if he's still concern about this relationship, whether he still wants this relationship. I also don't know whether he still needs miee or not, whether he really wants miee to be with him or not. My mind is in a state of confusion now. my mind needs to be answered to all these questions. I FEEL LIKE CRYING!!!!! It has been ages since I'm last like that. All the while I thought, things would be better after we patched, but it seems to be not. Did I make the decision on the spur of my emotion? Did I make the wrong choice? I really hope I didn't. Cause I don't want to regret. I know I love him. Nevertheless, I really need him to grow upp, change his childish mentality and blend in with mine. I really needs him to do so. =(

Haiz. Don't wish to talk lerx. Just a quick summary, have not been happy all these while, mainly cause of dear. Partly cause of my friendship with Hani. Haiz. Listening to ''tong hua'' now. sad feelings just arouse like that. Haiz. Okiee laa. I have to end off here lerx. Meeting qianhui and zhen they all at jun feng's house study. Tae care people. Hopefully will be happier for the coming week. =)