Question.

Last Saturday, when we were at HOP, HuiYun asked me a question that almost everyone asked me before. -.- Cause we happened to be talking about our past relationship. She had a boyfriend whom she was with for 5 years but still, they broke up. Well, mine isn't any better. So I told her about Bev. -.- Okay, not suppose to be mentioning him just a thought.

Then she asked about why we ended up not being together etc etc. And, she asked this question " Will you wait for Bev if he asked you to? " Thinking about this. Actually I hoped he asked but he didn't. Hmm, my answer was " Yes, I'd wait. But until the very last minute before his plane took off, he still didn't ask. "Ohh well... This always don't happen the way you want them to be right. I could still remember that day when I sent him off to airport, how I felt etc. Hmm, the problem with me is that, I love to keep all the old feelings to myself. I'm not willing to move on. Unless you're someone like Bev, who walked me through one of my toughest time and taught me how to be myself. People spread rumours about him. But I don't care.Cause many of you don't know him and is merely judging him. Like Lynn once said, Judge not you be not judged, for whatever judgments you made, it will be measured back at you. People who doesn't know him, judge him. And I'm pretty sure Bev don't even care. Cause you all don't matter to him. As of what I know about him, obviously. -.- Maybe he's changed. I don't know. But I just hope all the good points he once had, are still with him. Of course, hoping he's gonna be better than before.

Sometimes, there are immature people who wanna seek attentions and gain some kind of a sympathy from the public thus, spreading rumours ( untruths ) about people they're not happy with. But often, these kind of people tends to lose to themselves cause they don't even have the guts to face the truths. My Queen once taught me, human who faced truths bravely are the final winner of this battle. I believe I'm doing so. I'm facing everything with truths. I don't lie for any ' reasons '. For this, only people who are close to me will know. Like what Terry Buddy always tell me " Buddy, You really sucks at lying. But I know you've never lied to me. " HAHA. Yeahs, I kinda sucks at lying. Cause when I wanna lie, I'll panic. -.- So I rather choose to speak the truths. =) Ohh well, I don't wanna live a life with lies. For every lie you told, you need another lie to cover up the one before. Therefore, you'll be a liar the whole of your life.

Queen said, people who lie are living in their own world. Quite true actually. Lying to make themselves think they're great, they're pretty ( all the good things, duh. ). It's very much different from, being confident. Hmm, thin line between but two different meaning. Ohh! I've concluded that, people who likes to change topic or people who keep twisting their words, are people who are also lying. HAHA. Why? For they can't even make up their mind on what to say, why the need to hesitate when you don't have any lies to tell? -.-

Yes I'm straightforward. Often, my straightforwardness make a lot of people upset. But this is me. What can you do? My Queen taught me to be myself and this is what Bev taught me as well. If not, I'll still be the timid girl who's afraid of voicing out my unhappiness, crying to myself and keeping everything to myself. No, I don't wanna be like that no more. I'm no longer the Kat in the past.

I told HuiYun about my past. She's shocked. Cause she say the impression she has on me, was never those timid kinda girl. HAHA. It's unbelievable. How I change from a timid girl to someone who don't even care about people's feeling now. It's not I don't care. I choose the people I wanna care for. I can be nice to you, but if you make me angry, I'll be the most nasty bitch you'll ever met. Yes, I'm calling myself a bitch. I don't care how you people look at me. At least I dare to admit I'm a person like that. Rather than be like a hypocrite, being one person in front of this group of people and another in front of another group of people. HA. Live your life in denial then. I face my true self bravely. =) And that's all that matters.

Sometimes I don't understand how older adults portray themselves to the public. Like I told my Queen, some adults thinks they're not doing certain thing but in fact, they're doing it indirectly to make certain thing happen. I'm not pointing out at anyone, just my own opinions and views. And, Queen just agreed cause in this world, there're low-down, despicable people who wanna ruin people's life. Tsk. My Queen is definitely old enough to be my clique's Mother. But she don't behaves like those adults who portray themselves in a childish way. Sometimes when I see those adults on the streets, I'd shake my head and ask myself, what on earth happened to these adults? -.- God, save them. Make them wake up. -.-

Okay! Back to where I was. Talking to Yun about me. Yupps, I wasn't like who I was in the past. Not until I met Bev. He changed my life. Taught me to be myself and not to be afraid. In fact, Queen is very much happier to see me being who I am now rather to keep everything to myself, compared to the past. =) So if my Queen says it's good, it doesn't matter you all think it's bad. Cause I don't mind and you don't matter. =) Tsktsk. Copying Lynn. =X It's true anyway. =)

Hmm. For now, I'm not gonna care about all those un-important person. So yeahs, if you're here to make my life worse, I'm sorry you've just failed. Cause I've got more people who're making my life better. =D

Goodbye to sorrows.
Welcome happiness. ^^



Try to reach out to you, Touch my hand. =))