When Sorry Means Nothing No More.

i have always been wondering, why some people can just say the word, ' sorry ' so easily. i hate to apologise. and i don't like to say ' sorry '. cause to me, ' sorry ' is not easy to say. but, for some others, it seems so bloody easy. sorry this and that. and when this happens too often, that's when sorry means nothing no more. really, it just become a meaningless word. really meaningless.

prince only messaged me back yesterday morning. when i was already angry with him, for causing me to worry about him, ALWAYS. and he said sorry, he know his mistake. but why the hell should you even do it when you know it's wrong to do so? how dumb can that be? i've always told myself, the word ' sorry ' should only be said when i really know what am i suppose to do and that i'm really sorry, and will make sure i won't do the same anymore. but yet, this is the don't know how many times prince said sorry to me. and don't know how many times he said he'd never do that again, don't mean it etc. craps. it all become craps. cause, he said them too often until i can't trust his words.

angry i am, but i'm more upset. cause, this shouldn't be happening. prince finds it ridiculous when his aunt told us about how her son behaves when he's out, like not calling home to report safety etc. but now he's doing that to me. how funny, how weird. i refuse to talk to him yesterday. replied his messages in short. and not wanting to say any further. cause i feel, he should feel how i felt the day before. he asked for forgiveness, and if i do, this is the don't know how many times i forgave him on issues like this. cause he always wait till i'm really pissed, then he'd do something. which is too late. i don't like this kind of things. he made me feels that he's being irresposible, unreliable. why should he behave like a kid for these kind of things? he finds it funny? he thinks it's cool? ha. then go find someone else to play all these with. i don't like. FULL-STOP.

he's booking out today. and i thought, i should be very happy seeing him today. but, what happened that day, killed my happy mood. and i really feel, he shouldn't even apologise to me. cause i know even if he apologise now, sooner or later, he'd do the same thing again. so what's the bloody point of apologise. POINTLESS. he makes me hate the word ' sorry '. seriously.

but tonight is skating day, i don't wish to spoil everyone's mood. so im trying to tidy up my unhappy mood and go to skate, happily. typing this entry with my eyes half shut. gosh, this is how tired i am. back home only an hour ago. :( there're some photos i took. but i'm too lazy to upload now. probably next entry. (:

nights people.
pray for me that i'll be a happy girl again after i wake up.
honey dreams. (: