444! (:

this is my number, FOUR hundred and FORTY FOUR post!~ ^^

hahas. just got back home like, half an hour ago? around 3:30am. was at east coast rink from 9pm - 2:45am. shared a cab home with sky. we like, chatted a lot at the rink? hahas. hmm, steven, eddy, sky, javier, gavin and their friend was there. i don't know the girl's name. LOL. sorry. =x

i think today is a WRONG wrong wrong day for me to go skating. i fell again, and hit my knee again. :( hais. and now the swell is back. hais. wonder how long will it takes to heal. T.T RAHH! beside skating, had a lot of ' gossips ' and watched them played CS and we watch a part of tokyo drift on javier's lappy. okays, i'm a loser. i've never watch tokyo drift before. -.- and i so love the cars drifting! so cool lahhs. anyways, conclusion : today i didn't skate much, more of talking and slacking cause my knee was darn painful. :'(

prince messaged me when i was at the rink, telling me he just signed five extras. meaning, confinement. hais. probably it's gonna be two and a half weeks before i could see him again. had a little chat with him. he asked me why am i so upset. and so i told him what he said about me that night at his place. that i don't like the way he put me together with his grandma. and don't like the way he said i'm exactly like his grandma. end up he tell me he don't even remember he told me that and he totally forgot he said those things. and said he can't believe i actually took all those words seriously. okays now, is he taking things too lightly or am i taking things to seriously? he knew it from the start i don't like his grandma yet he said those things to me. how does it feels to be compared with someone you detest? feels sucky. feels shitty. does he even think about how i feel? how about me comparing him, or rather say that he's exactly like someone he detest. he said he'd take it. he can't even take me saying he's fat, like ' someone '. and he's telling me he could take it if i say he's exactly like someone he detest? was that meant to be a joke? i suppose? ha.

this feeling sucks. the feeling of being unhappy sucks. i hate this feeling. i don't like this feeling. but thank god sky they all were there. those jokers! they lighten my day better. thanks guys. thanks HKCs. LOL.

you know? it hurts to see prince getting upset cause of my ignorance.but it's anger when i think of what he said to me. i feel that he doesn't know me at all when he should be the one who should, or maybe the second one other than my queen, to know me the best. but yet he's not. how can this be happening? shouldn't he be the one who's the most understanding? shouldn't he be the one who knows me well enough and not to judge me? but no, he make me feels that he's like a stranger who doesn't know me. he's no longer the prince, who know me darn well. and this is so disappointing. and the way he said things. he said he was joking. but the tone he was talking to me wasn't in any way of joking manner? if only he put it in a nicer way? if only he didn't said those things? yeahs, IF ONLY.

well, life goes on. and i'm sick of all the after-argue-sweet-talks. tell me he love me more than himself and so i'm more important than anyone else. tell me i'll always be placed in front of his grandma. it's not all these i need. i need his understanding. i need his sensitiveness. i need him to take his own initiative. i need him to be more mature and not behaving like a kid when it's something serious. i need him to keep his words so i could trust him better. i don't want us to be hanging half way and feeling lost. i need him to lead me to where we're going and not make me feel following him is the wrong choice. i need to feel secure. i need to feel directed. i don't need anything else. not glory or fame. just these.

apart from me and prince, i'm gonna sleep soon i think. it's gonna be 4:30am already. and i need to wake up like, 11ish later. gonna help steven with coaching at gan eng seng. -.- i can say i totally forgot how to coach already can. =/ need to do some readings later. or maybe when i'm on the way to katong shop later. =x jialat. too long never coach already. and talking about coaching. thank god i remembered to pass vivian my stuffs today. (:

ohh, my eyes lids are feeling heavy. =x knee is painful. :(

anyways, chatted with ziyi just now over the phone. hope i did make her feel better. (: think about the WHITE floor, with your NAME and SKY falling down k. (: HAHAHAHA. though i didn't do much, was just there to listen. =x

hahas. and when we were walking out to marine terrace there, we saw like darn a lot of rats. and sky was saying that he wanna kick them. then he told us about how his teacher back in his secondary school days tortured a rat seen in school. -.- darn gross. and sky said, going to the police station and fake lost will be a good idea to ask police to send you home so you'll save money! LOL. hahas. and he added on saying that at least he give police the opportunity to drive the police car out instead of them sitting in the office always. hmm..... sounds logical, but who the hell will do that for you? -.-

alright. i think i'm too tired until i'm blogging nonsense. -.-
goodnight all my lovelies.
xoxo.