bevan left already.. at about three and a half hour ago. his flight was from 12am.. shifted to 1.15am. i didn't send him all the way. i was there until around twelve. then i leave already. cause i'm catching the last bus home. after a hug and bid farewell.. with a sentence of ' see you when i come back '.. we parted at the airport. i pass him the present i bought him. i've been searching for his present.. but didn't find any one that i think is memorable. even the one i bought for him now also.. it's just cute. so i bought it. =_= lame.
i reached the airport around 11pm.. together with kris. she was with me the whole day since 10am. we went to singapore conference hall.. watch the band.. then went to lavender. then to wisma for lunch.. then.. urmm.. go shop around.. went to fareast.. paragon. heeren.. then took bus back to my house. dropped at northpoint.. then went to shop for bee's present. okays. maybe i should call him bevan.. i'm used to it. :( never mind.. i'll NOT get it wo it soon i guess. :"( bevan, wish me luck with the days without you. =_= haix.. he should be reaching perth in about an hour plus time. singapore timing is 6am. perth is an hour faster.. so he'll be there around 7am, in perth. i'm still awake here. don't feel like sleeping. haix.. :( anyways, after we reach the airport.. went to eat popeye. then go over to terminal two.. where i'm suppose to meet bevan.. when we were in the toilet.. he messaged me say that he reach already. so i went over to row 7 or 8 there to find him.. guess what? i called him and he's just behind me! -retarded. don't know why.. the moment i saw him.. it wasn't sadness. but happiness.. it's always like that whenever i sees him. until we bid farewell, on my way home, i cried. i couldn't control anymore. i didn't wanna cry in front of him.. so i cry after i leave.. but still end upp telling him i cried. and he ask em not to cry cause he's not dead! whatever~ of course he's not dead lahh. just feeling sad only wadd. then his dad came.. and i said hi.. after that i leave already.. though i have many can't bear.. but he still have to go.. and we both know, this day will come. i'm not prepared still.. never at once tell myself to be prepared for this moment.. and now when it arrived.. i can't handle... ohh my godd.. holy shit.
on the way home.. on the bus.. i was litening to no promises.. and just then bevan cross my mind.. cause he PROMISED TO SING THE WHOLE SONG TO ME! but he hasn't done it. so i messaged him and tell him he still owe me a song.. and we talked. then half way through the journey.. he ask me if i could give him a call.. so i call. chat with him for a while.. maybe because i'm still feeling upset.. i didn't talk much lahh. then he was like, " nothing to say arhh? " then i say.. " don't know what to say lehh.. " so he was like.. saying he call his friends first.. he talk to me later.. so i said okay. and we hang upp. always so peacefully.. which is nice! :) then i walked home from the mrt station. when i'm near my block.. he called me.. say that can broad the plane already. he can't talk for long anymore. so i chat with him.. until i'm under my block.. i told him that i message him lahh. then he said okay. and we hang upp. and message all the way until around 1:10am. his last message was telling me to talk when he get back. and my last message to him was asking him to take care. then that's it. yarh...
and i've been stoning all the way on my bed.. reading his messages.. looking at our photos.. thinking of what happened between us.. everything flash back. he's a nice guy.. he's seriously a nice person.. he's been treating me very nice. even on the first day we know each other.. he has been nice to everyone.. not only me. yarh.. he's really a nice lad. very xi xin. i don't know what's that called in english.. but he's just very nice to me.. and never fails to make me smile.. bevan, remember me telling you that ' you look gorgeous when you don't disturb me? ' this still applies even if we're no longer together okay! no cheating! hahas. :) you still owe me ' No Promises '. i don't care. hahas. you heven't sing. =D yupps. take care bee.... -missing you...
ohh well, i'm sick. first time of the year.. down with slight fever, cough, sore throat, headache.. with a pair of swollen eyes. ohh me godd. =_= @_@ hahas. cracking jokes when i'm down? cheer myself upp? kidding myself i guess. hahas. urmm.. now is 5:17am. should i continue waiting? ohh no.. i'm tired.. didn't rest well for the past few days already.. plus now still awake. ohh goshh.. holy shit! =_= hahas. i wanna play O2Jam later. :) sure won't level upp de. boring. =_= hahas. and sure failed. hahas. ohh yarh.. recently, my breathing tube contraction problem is back. have difficulty breathing again.. shit. i told mummy. then she was telling me, ' wanna die early then smoke more lohh ' and i kept quiet. then she goes like ' you see for yourself.. you're old enough to look after yourself. decide what you're suppose to do. ' then she continue reading her novel. =_= told bevan about this also.. he wanted me to stop smoking also.. hahas. stop.. for two days! =) yayy! -madness- maybe i should just go to the doctor to get my medicine. :)
ohh.. zac called me just now.. he saw my previous entry.. then wanna ask me why i cry and stuffs. i was feeling down.. and he just so happen to call at the wrong timing.. and start shooting me with plenty of questions. ask me why i lie about meeting bevan. hellos? when i called you that time, i really wasn't meeting him wadd.. i'm meeting maria, wilson and melissa. bevan was randomly meet upp de lohh. =_= whatever~ don't care now. haix. anyway.. like i told you zac, if you always call me just to question me.. don't bother calling me anymore.. i won't pick upp any of your calls. i'm sorry for being harsh.. i think now is my PMS days. and i'm feeling upset. sorry. don't bother me now. leave me alone. -i wanna be alone now- ohh my.. i'm feeling bad.. just now i threw my temper at zac on the phone. i just feel very irritated by all his questions. and he's like.. bugging me for an answer when he was telling me, ' it's okay if you don't wanna tell me. ' and when i don't tell him.. he bug for an answer. so annoying lahh.. i read his blog.. he's very weird. fucking weird.. he's so contridicting. he don't seems to know what he's doing. this is bad. i guess it's time for me to stay away from IC more. appear lesser.. haix.. i don't know..
i know i still have feelings for zac.. this one i can't deny.. but it's not like what zac tell me 100%. i'm not 100% in love with him now. the feelings are still there. but.. i really don't want history to keep repeating.. and it has been repeating for centuries. i'm sick of it.. i don't want anymore history to repeat. and people have been telling me to go for my own happiness.. happiness comes before feelings. felling can be built upp.. okays. i agree this is true. me and zac = feelings. me and bevan = happiness. conparing myself with happiness.. of course.. bevan brings back my smiles. i'm not saying zac didn't bring me smiles. but the sadness he brought upon me was much more than the happiness. haix.. maybe everything is fated.. maybe next time.. zac and i will have the same perceptions. then we'll live in the same frequency, happily. maybe next time and bevan have the same perceptions, live in the same frequency but are not meant to be? haix..anything coulf happen.. future is not for us to tell.. so let nature takes its courses bahh.. i just wanna be a happy soul..
-SINGLEHOOD- BUT NOT AVAILABLE NOW! =D
okays. i'm tired.. i guess i should just go and take a rest first.. hopefully he arrived safely. :) hope to hear from him soon.. BYEBYE!
lord, i pray for bevan's safety. amen. :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment