P/S: I'M GONNA BE RANDOM IN THIS POST.. ACCORDING TO THE DAY, WHAT HAPPENED AND STUFFS. SO MY MOOD IS NOT STABLE.
29th December 2006. *drinking day*
well, after blogging.. i felt asleep. then when i wake up.. it's about 4pm.. and i was super shock. cause i was planning to call him at 2pm to bid him farewell and ask him to take care of himself. and be home sound and safe. but i slept until almost 4pm!! and when i look at my phone. i misseed call from ' prince '. and i tried calling him back. but.. his phone is off already. :( sad. i nearly cried. and so, last choice, i called steven. and thank god it got through. and i spoke to baby. and i feel better after hearing his voice. :) hahas. then.. i carry on with my sleep! i sleep until around 6:30pm? then wake up and get reday to go out to meet maria. hahas. yupps. and i was late lahh can? suppose to meet at 9:30pm. but i reach around 10pm. hahas. then meet up with melissa (cockroach), james, bevan (lemon) and jia siant. then the three girls go and buy cups. and then we go to 7-11 to buy coke. then take bus to pasir ris park. and sat by the beach. we had jim bean and black and white with coke. but i only had a cup of jim bean with coke. i can't stand that freaking smell lahh. so smelly. then had a sip of black and white with coke from bevan's cup. hahas. so funny. all of them so funny. :) lols. then we went to climb spider web. the guys climb freaking fast can? i'm like, stuck that kind. lols. and stupid bevan keep shaking the freaking web. so scary. shouldn't have play. =_= yupps. then went to The Blue Hut to drink. and had a barrel of calsberg. hahas. fun fun. post the pictures later. lols. after that we wentwalk out of fisherman. hoping to walk out of that freaking place. but end up we took cab out. to pasir ris drive 6. and we drink AGAIN!! hahas. had a jug of tiger beer. eEyAwks. i don't like. hahas. then.. took pictures again. hahas. and.. after that we go somewhere near the shop and save. maria wore my skates and she say it's too tight for her. =_= lols. okays. i don't know maybe the liner is mould to my feet already. hahas. :) then not long after that.. zac called and blast at me for not going home. i was like...... ????? okays. and after melissa meet us, we went home. cause she drop us at kembangan. yupps. then.. ermm. bathe and sleep. yupps. slept at 7am.. wake upp 9:30am. =_=.
hahas. the nicest kiss ever! :)
we're fun and lovely. hahas. :)
the girls' leggie! :)
girls.. maria, melissa and me. :)
the guys. jia siant, james and bevan. hahas. :)
i like this. nice! :)
this too! but bevan took the paper away! -idiot.
30th December 2006 *skating night*
wake up and get ready.. then go to aljunied POSB bank with maria. bevan meet us there also. -he didn't sleep at all lahh.- maria wanna make ATM card. so i go with her. after that we go airport eat lunch. went to the staff canteen to eat. maria left first cause she gotta work. then after me and bevan eat. we went to the viewing mall. cause i wanna watch aeroplanes. hahas. so funny. i throw bevan some questions.. and he tried very hard to explain to me. but i still don't get it. =_= i asked him : '' WHY AEROPLANES CAN STAY IN THE AIR FOR SO LONG WITHOUT FALLING? '' i have been asking myself for many many times. but i don't seems to be able to answer myself either. bevan tried explainig to me in the science's term. but i just don't understand why. so funny. aeroplanes are cute and funny. :) lols. then about 3pm.. we went to find maria at starbucks. cause i'm leaving to meet kaishi at shop already. bevan accompany me. he wanted to send me there by cab.. but i don't want. i wanna take bus. so we go to the bus interchange. and took bus 36. hahas. bevan send to parkway and we parted there. i walk to shop and he went to shop at parkway. lols. a guy doing shopping himself? alone some more? lols. hahas. so funny. reached shop quite early. then i felt asleep at the couch AGAIN! lols. hahas. always like that. adam disturb me when i was sleeping. hahas. that idiot. put the riding clothes on me. LOL. he thinks it's funny? LOLS. retarded. then went to east coast with kaishi. martin send us to the rink! thank you martin!! :)) hahas. rink was crowded. lols. as usual lahh. but it's a saturday. well, saturday. okays. then skate and stuffs.. don't have the mood to slalom or slide. neither figure. i'm feeling weak to do anything. =_= hahas. ohh yarh! MOM CALLED AND SAY THAT MY COUSIN GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY BOY. NICENICE! :) CONGRATULATION. :) SO HAPPY FOR HER CAN????? HAHAS. i wanna go back and visit her some day. :) maybe saturday. hahas. yarh mann! :) hahas. aunty felicia send me home today! love her many many. :) hahas. :) yupps. then online all the way until 9 plus in the morning. chat with bevan online. lols. he show me his baby sister on his webcam. her name is chloe. she's so cute. hahas. i like her. :) hahas. i like the name also. very nice. :) i'll name my baby girl chloe next time. hahas. then ask to learn slalom.. be like the chloe whose slalom is good. hahas. :) then sleep at 9 plus. wake up at 4pm. -dead.-
INTRODUCING MY COUSIN'S BABY BOY.. JUN HAO. :) ALVIN. hahas. so adorable. i like i like! :)
i wanna carry him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
31st December 2006 *his return*
suppose to meet maria 4pm at shop. but end up i WAKE UP at 4pm. =_= so i meet her at tanjong pagar itself. zac called me around 3pm. saying that he's on his way back to shop already. i was like.. okays. but i'm too tired to get up already. hahas. so he ask me to call him when i'm awake instead. lols. then after i wake upp. i go and get ready. had some arguements with zac. and here is where my quarrel with him actually started. yarh. then.. blah blah blah.. yupps. he wasn't going to watch concert with us actually. then final decision to go. and okays. i was informed. yupps. then meet them at tanjong pagar mrt station and go conference hall together. yupps. then went to meet sharif at the big drum there. so went over there to take the tickets. and go inside. concert starting. then not even half of the concert.. zac took my phone and go out of the concert hall. FUCKING RUDE LAHH. SHIT HIM. and i followed him.. asking him to give back my phone. he don't listen and don't give me back. and i was sooOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING PISSED. until i can't FUCKING stand it anymore. i yelled at him and told him i can live without him. i wanna stop all these. i had enough. i don't want all these kind of shit anymore. all these while, the four years. i've been perservering my belief of staying with him forever. until today. i can't stand it anymore. he has gone to the extend of making me mad. going crazy. i can't stand it any longer. i told myself before if i want this relationship, i have to sacrifise. i sacrifise a lot already. my friends. my time. my sleep. but everything is never enough for him. what does he want? four years.. he has never told me he's happy being with me.. all he told me was.. ''i'm very unhappy being with you..'' " i suffer when i'm with you " "you make my life so miserable " " you wasted my four years ". he has never tell my how happy he was being with me. i tried my best.. i really tried my very best.. to make him a happy person. to make him feel happy being with me. but i failed to do so. i never at once be able to make him happy. all i got from him was he lost trust in me, he calls me slut, a bitch and say i'm a loose woman. and say i'm a lousy girlfriend. okay. since it already have come to this extend.. where both of us is so unhappy.. i told him this morning.. that i choose to let go. take it as i'm a slut, i'm a bitch, i'm leaving him for another guy and i'm a loose woman. i'm leaving him to let him go and find a better girl.. a girl who will make him happy. a girl who will bring him more happiness. and i hang upp the phone after that. which girl would like to hear their boyfriend saying all these things to themselves? which girl would like to hear her boyfriend scolding them vulgarities non-stop? which girl would want their boyfriend to be violent all the time? i don't like and never like. it's like ill treating can? i'm suppose to your girlfriend. not criminal for you to question or control. obsession is not love.. possession is not love too. -i'm crying, i'm feeling sad. yes i am. but i still have to let go.- my determination has drop to the lowest point. i'll be okay. i have to be strong. kat, be strong. don't be weak in emotions. pick yourself upp and smile. i know, said is easier than done. but i need time. i need time to let go.. need time to forget. i need time to adapt. to get use. i'm feeling unhappy now, yes i am. but i have no choice. i have to learn to be strong now. and the only thing i can do is not to think so much. yes. don't think so much. so, i'm gonna say this one last time and drop this topic..
baby i love you.. goodbye and take care.
okay. no more. i'm suppose to be talking about what happen last night. we went to meet james, melissa, bevan, jerome, etc and city hall. then end up we're like in a maze like that. can't even find our way out. =_= yupps. then blah blah blah -don't wanna elaborate- we meet at marina's calr's jr. then go to the top to watch fireworks. nice! i like. :) hahas. yupps. then a lot of funny things happened. and i ended up at wilson's house with maria. and i make myself drunk after breaking upp with zac. that's where i declare break upp with him. sorry Wilson and Maria.. trouble you guys and make the day a bad one for you all. sorry. thanks wilson for whatever you've done... talking to him and etc. thanks baby for supporting me and sorry that he pissed you. SORRY JAMES AND FRIENDS. got you all into trouble. sorry bevan. sorry everyone. it's all my fault. haix. sorry. i feel so guilty. haix. i don't know. i got everyone into trouble. i put wilson in a difficult position. i make maria being called a slut and etc. and got james being scolded for nothing. and his friends to come down for nothing.. and wasted their cab fare. i feel so lousy now. am i really that bad? i guess i am. i'm a failure. in everything. in friendship, in relationship. in whatever i do. i just don't seems to be able to do things right. yarh.. i'm a jinx. i'm everything that is bad. yes i am. this is what, a guy who has been with me for four years thinks i am. so i am. why am i always talking about this kind of things?? shhhhhhHH.. go away.. bad feelings.. i don't like you. haix. never mind. i will try my best not to think so much anymore. yes. okays.
i love to do this now. :) urge to be lesbian!!! :)
i like this! cool!!
both of us again! :)
wilson so cute! :)
the three guys. lols.
maria and melissa. :)
okays. i'm going to watch movie later. at vivo or cenileisure. with bevan and friends. hahas. don't know. bevan say he's never been to vivo. so we'll go vivo i guess. hahas. lols. timing are quite late. hmm.. maybe we're gonna thon again? lols. don't know. later than decide. ohh well, time to upload pictures! :) *LOVES.
No comments:
Post a Comment