he made me feel that he want to be with me is not because he loves me. is because he's just used to having me by his side. cause from what he said.. ( five years of time will be WASTED if he were to move on ). and all he want to do is to skate. and nothing else. then what for? what for keep telling me that he will sacrifice everything, including skating for me. for i know he will never do that. and what for tell me all sorts of things? like missing me and stuffs. why? you know i'll get soft hearted. so stop doing all these. i don't want myself to end up with lots of disappointments again.. i don't want myself to fall back in again.. i don't want myself to get hurt.. nor want myself to cry over you again.
you said in your blog, once it's gone, it's gone forever... then why bother coming back? ain't it supposed to be gone forever? you said you're gonna tell me the last time you're missing me.. then why keep on telling me even until now? you said you gave up.. you're gonna forget about everything and move on.. 8 march 07, you said :
***8 March 07 , 6am, i decided to give up completely on kat. im not waiting anymore.. i got to move on.
Kat, the 5yrs being with u.. there is up & down, happiness & sadness.. now, we decided not to be togther anymore, hopefully will be a wise move. Sry Kat, i need a girl who will love me more! Not a girl wh is half hearted! i dun wan to be sharing a gal with the other guy. And i need someone who is more understanding & lady like, unlike u, yours voice is always the loudest, jus like Terence. ***
this is what you wrote exactly. i'm never the girl for you. i've been the one. what do you see in me? why do you keep coming back and leaving again? what do you want to do to me? confusing my feelings times and again.. throwing me away as and when you like.. why? we were never like this.. the first 2 years we were fine.. but why?
-quote from zac's blog, 16 February 07-
Again.. i gave up.. ( For my Beloved Zixin..)
once agn.. i gave up hope.. but i had no regrets. I had done my part to make u happy, make u smile, give in to u, give u my utmost care & concern but not jealousy or demanding. im glad i can really treat a girl nicely, as a girlfriend. Thx for allowing me to proof my love towards u, and thx for allowing me to treat u like my princess..jus like fairy tales..
But one thing u wouldnt wish to know.. the Dark Truth of Fairy Tales is that all Fairy Tales comes with a bad ending.
& this is the reason why i gave up believing in fairy tales..
If there is a chance to let me take care of u, not for a moment, but for a life time, let me know. I will do my very best to make u a happier person, add colours to your life & be your companion of your life time...
Luv u always..
zac
***
*** i got to enjoy myself and hv all the fun that i nv had thx to kat!! Becos of her, my life = no life.***
with me around.. you're having no life.. then why bother wanting me back? you should just move on.. and not coming back anymore. like what you said.. we could be a much happier person this way.. but why? why come back and tell me all those things? why do you have to do this to me all the time? leaving.. and after you left.. tell me all sorts of things to make me soft hearted.. why do you have to do this to me? WHY?
*** For kat..
Being with u all this 5yrs.. im really happy..even tho we quarrel, im still happy..being with u makes me happy.. and my happy moment ended here.. My dream die at this very moment.. For the very last time.. Kat.. i love u..
Hope everything goes well for u.. see u...
luv, zac ***
dream died. your last time. everything is not what was said. you still wanna come back..
did you see what you've done to me the past years? can you see what you've done to me?! did you see what kind of a person you've turn me to? every of my changes take place because of you. if not for you, i wouldn't be harsh. if not for you, this relationship could have been stable by now. if not for your ' bitch, cheap, slut and causing miseries to your life ', i wouldn't have change. things wouldn't have change.
and now, if not for your ' fuck off from my life ', we wouldn't be like this. can you see? can you see what have you turned me into? can you see what kind of a person you turn me to? can you see? the current kat, is who you've turn her into over the years.
think about it yourself, if you were me.. what would you have done? what would you do now? you left me with a confusing mind.. expecting me to be there for you still. want me to spend the rest of my life with you.. want me by your side forever.. with all these past memories.. what will you do, if you were to be me?
即使我是爱你的，
我也很难回到你身边。
想要和你在一起的心虽有，
可是伤心比快乐还要多。
与其你我都伤心。。。
不如让我放了你，
让你寻找你的幸福。
不能让你我开心，
只好我放了你，
让你开心。
i just want you to be happy, that's all.
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