for the guy who's far away.

i don't know why must there be a sudden change in your attitude towards me when you get to know about me and him. aren't you suppose to be supportive, somehow? instead of giving me the ' ignore ' attitude? why do you have to make things seems so bad? we were so close, as friends. please, don't because of this and ignore me. it hurts to see you treating me like this. you're a special friend. you know it yourself.. so stop. stop giving me that hostile feeling. i can't stand it. can't we just like before? talk like before? joke like before? we are friends, aren't we? why make it as though you're hating me?

once you forsaken my feelings for you and being so harsh to me. now that i sorted out my feelings and wanna pursue my feelings back for him and you're giving me this attitude, what is wrong with you? or should i say.. what is wrong with us? why are we like this now? i'm not trying to tell you i'm still clinging hopes for you. no, it died since 07 March 2008. you distinguish it. thanks for waking me up from this dream. yes i've been dreaming. dreaming to be with you in the future. but it will never come true. it'll never be de javu. cause you will never accept me again. that's why i choose to let go and be friends like what you wanted me to do. but why are you like this now? didn't you once said as long as i'm happy, you're fine with it? didn't you said you don't mind me being with him? yes i know this is not the first time me and him patch. but what can i do? i still have feelings for him. yes, call me fickle minded or whatsoever. but don't treat me the way you're treating me now. can't you just stay by my side as a close friend? as a brother? can't you? why do you have to make it as though we're gonna be enemies? why? don't do this to me times and again. it hurts, it really does.

please, i'm pleading you not to do this to me. i don't know when you'll be reading this.. but i hope when you do, feel how i feel. i know all these while it's not only me who's having a hard time. but to once loved a person like you, till i'm going crazy yet i have to forgo the feelings is not easy as well.. please understand my feelings. be in my shoes and feel how i feel, boy. don't treat me this way.

please.....