i'm so irritated by blogger's photo uploader!

fucking irritating lahhs. cb. -.- tried uploading photos but it took like an hour yet nothing, NOTHING is uploaded. fuck the uploader. cb. knn. this is freaking not the fucking first time already. idiot. making me wait like some moron. whatever. fuck.. -PISSED!-

well, updating my blog for steph.. she wants to know what has been happening in my life when she's far away.. that's why i'm updating my blog now.. in fact the reason why i blog lesser is because i started writing diary again. so i find myself having to write everything in my diary rather than blogging it down. sorry people. i'll update more okays? (:

it's been two months since steph left.. i miss her. reading her blog once in a while and knowing she has been drinking.. i'm worried. cause she's overseas. anything happen to her i won't be able to be there.. i just hope she'll be back sound and safe. i hope to see her real soon.. like what i told her.. i hope i can be a jumper so i can jump to her now. (: but too bad i can't. girl, i know you'll be reading my blog. i just hope you will know how much i miss you. it's been so long since we last met. don't worry about me. he's treating me well.. i hope you can see the changed him and accept him as a new person. i really hope so. give him a chance to show you he's really treating me right.. (: don't worry about me. (:

have been having some thoughts about my skating life too.. ever since i had my accident until now, that i'm back to skating, somehow.. i can feel it myself that i've lost a lot of my strength and power for sliding. no longer like before. i talked to vivian.. about leaving team elite cause i find myself no longer fit to be in the team.. but she say steven will not let me leave the team.. she say steven has his own reason why he wanna keep me in the team. well, what could the reason be? my purpose of joining the team is not for anything but because of friendship. because i've been with inline culture for so long. it's not for the benefits. i love inline culture and will always do.

losing so much of my strength and power, and surprisingly, i managed to do some slides. not perfectly good but managed to somehow execute them. i'm happy, i'm glad. but am i really ready to go further? am i ready to go for competitions? am i fit for everything? sometimes when i massage my ankle, it still hurts. and sometimes when i just wake up from sleep and i try to walk, the ankle feels pain too. i want to go back to skating. i miss skating and sliding. i miss representing inline culture for competition. but i can't do all these at the moment.. what should i do? i want to get back my strength and power like last time. i want back everything. and i mean, everything. i wish... it'll be soon.. i don't have time to waste.. the opponent team is getting stronger and stronger day by day. it's time to buck up..

and my work.. having not able to work for the past few months and adding on with another 5 more weeks of hospitalisation leaves. i don't know if i still can work for Starbucks. my commitment level has been dropping.. and i'm feeling so listless. i took such a hard time to build up my commitment level and now everything is gone. everything changed since that accident. OMFG. this is so hurting. i lost so much from an accident.. :( hais. and i suppose i'm getting a new job soon since my ankle doesn't allow me to stand for long hours. doctor already said it'll at least take another half a year to one year to fully heal. it's like, WHAT THE FUCK WHY NEED SO LONG?!!? hais. but no choice, what happened already happen. live with it bahhs, kat. i just hope everything will go through smoothly now.

okay, i wanna start playing dota now.. have been playing dota by the way.. getting the hands of it. (: bevan, just you wait k? i'll play with you one day. (: *training in progress*


宝贝，谢谢你这三个礼拜对我的体贴与温柔。
希望一切不会就此告一段落。
希望一切会更顺利，
希望我们会一直开心。
我爱你！