speechless.

i don't know what to say already.

say this, i'm wrong.

say that, i'm wrong.

okay, i'm your burden.

okay, i'm your problem.

okay, i'm everything that's not nice.

okay, i'm the one who took away your freedom.

okay, i'm the troublesome one.

okay, i'm the cruel one.

okay, everything is my fault.

you're the best on earth.

you're flawless.

you're perfect.

you're the kindest.

you're the most understanding one.

you're the most sensible one.

you're the most reliable one.

blame everything on me.

blame me for not being able to trust you.

blame me that my queen don't believe your abilities.

blame me that my queen can't trust your words.

blame me for whatever that has happened or is going to happen.

blame me for everything.

sorry i've caused you so much unhappiness.

sorry i've been a burden to you.

sorry i've controlled your life.

sorry i got unhappy cause you spent too much time on your games.

sorry i got unhappy cause you totally don't care about me.

sorry i got unhappy cause you don't see my presence at all.

sorry i got unhappy cause you think you're the only one who's sad.

sorry i got unhappy cause you're being selfish.

sorry i got unhappy over everything in this relationship.

IF you can have those thinking like last night.

IF you can say those words to me.

IF you can think you're the one who suffered the most.

IF you can say things that doesn't even show respect to my queen.

IF you can feels being with me is like being tortured.

IF you can be that selfish.

IF you can be that insensitive.

IF you can be that immature. 

then i guess there's no point for me to try to make you realize.

then i guess i should just give up.

then i guess i should just move on.

then i guess i should just not be a burden to you anymore.

then i guess i should just let you have all the freedom you want.

then i guess i should just let you do what you're doing now and never know how to plan for your future.

then i guess i should just leave you like now, never know how to improve.

then i guess i should just let you go.

i'm the worst girl to be with on earth, get yourself another girl.

i'm the worst girlfriend on earth, find a better one.

i'm the lousiest girlfriend on earth, get a new and good one.

i'm not who you want me to be.

and i've told you many times that i'll never be the girl you want me to be.

like what i've told you before,

you'll never be able to accept me for who i am.

and now you're bringing me nothing but just a pack of stupid words that hurt. 

you've brought me nothing but all these pains. 

why?

times and again you're doing the same thing to me.

badmouthing me, telling stories about me. 

it seems to have been a thrill for you to do so.

it seems like you're another attention seeker.

shouldn't you be someone dear to me?

shouldn't you be someone who accept me the best?

shouldn't you be the closest to me?

but why are you like now? 

you're no longer someone i know as the understanding one.

you've slowly gone back to what you were last time.

seems like army doesn't help.

you didn't really grow up.

all you grew was just that build and nothing else.

army didn't taught values into you.

army didn't make you realize.

and so i was wrong all these while.

to think you're happy being with me.

to think you loved me for who i am. 

to think you'll always be the first one to be by my side when i need you the most.

to think you'll always be there.

to think you'll change for me.

but no.

all these while, you change for yourself.

and you don't change for me.

you always make things sounds so beautiful, like what my queen said.

but your words are just NATO. 

you never know how hurtful i was.

you never know how i cried myself to sleep almost every night. 

you never know how i felt. 

you never know how i struggled with my own emotions. 

and you're never understanding towards me. 

you're never sensitive towards me. 

and don't blame all that happened on bevan. you're bias against him, everyone knows. but stop it. there's nothing to do with him. 

if you can do what you wanna do.

play the games you wanna play.

hang out with the people you want to.

skate with whoever you want to.

then ;

why can't i do what i wanna do?

why can't i play what i wanna play?

why can't i meet the people i want to?

my life, is not just about skating.

skating is just a hobby.

there're more important things than this.

and i won't be skating forever.

cause i'm not like you.

i know how to prioritize. 

i know what i should be doing.

i know how to plan for myself.

i know what i want in the future.

zac lim,

think yourself.

are you really that perfect?

think about your future.

think, why do you not know what to do?

cause, you're not even ready to step into the society. 

cause, you're not even ready to give up all your funs and games.

cause, you've not totally grow up. 

these are the things i wanna say to you. 

and, stop telling me that you're ready to settle down when you're obviously not.

and, i'm not making a big hooha to you.

cause talking to you nicely, i'll never get my message across.

and i don't care if people thinks i'm always the one who start to quarrel in this relationship etc.

cause when you gave me faces, none of them saw.

and they'll never know all the hurts you've caused me. 

you need to do some reflection on yourself and repent.