where i belong?

i don't know.. i just don't really feel homely recently. even though they're there as companions. it just don't feels like last time anymore.

all good things come to an end. is this what it's suppose to be?

people change, i know. but if a person changed because of the authority/position of theirs is higher, i can tell you that person is a total failure. and i hope this is not the truth. yes, i'm jumping into my own assumptions. who cares? it's mine, not anyone else.

freedom of speech, my queen says it always exist. and i said before, whoever pass by my blog and read some post of me bitching them. too bad, cause to me, you're worth that bitching. HA. and i did said before, if you don't like me, i'd probably don't fucking like you either. so, i don't fucking care about people i don't like. too bad for those i don't care.

life is short, live it well. say what you wanna say and do what you wanna do to the fullest, isn't this well said? and, i'm doing it well i think. o.0 haha. and it's not the first time i say, people sometimes hates me for my super straightforwardness. but ohh well, that's me. IF i have to be wary of what i say every time, i'm making myself unhappy for not being myself and IF by listening to what i said will make a person so unhappy cause you're not realistic enough. this world, is never fair nor is it like fairytale.

why i'm saying all these, cause i used to be an idiot, a stupid piece of shit, a moron, whatever you can think it is. why? cause i'm always wearing a mask wherever i go. afraid people around me will get offended by what i say and people will hate me. so i have to watch what i say and be careful not to make people hate me. but i came to realise it's damn tiring doing so. cause even when i'm sad, i dare not say or do anything. i was just a piece of weak shit then. but thanks to my friends, who actually helped me to overcome all these shits and make me a better person. and, THAT guy from far away, thank you for creating a turning point in my life and make me realise what life should be. even though you're no longer that close to me, i'm still very thankful with what you're done to make a change in my life. (:

well, this is life isn't it? there's always a turning point when you really change. and i'm met mine and is changing. well, life is definitely better as compared to last time. a lot of people say i changed a lot and say i've become worse. well, why? cause i started going clubbing. and those comments just keep coming in and nasty comments are passed around. well, those people who thinks clubbing is just to find a partner to fuck, then you can just go and fuck spider. cause clubbing is not just about that. okays, look at it this way, IF not for people who thinks clubbing is to look for a partner to fuck, why would there even be people like that? it's always because there's this fixed mentality in you, that's why it'll happen. i admit i do change a lot. but no, i don't agree i've become worse. in fact, through clubbing, through whosgoing, i've learnt a lot. seen a lot of different types of people. and learnt what kind of precautions i need to have in order to protect myself. and learning how to drink is just one of the ways to help myself. i've always know what i'm doing and know what i shouldn't be doing. eg, i've never, NEVER touch drugs. not even a single one. and IF, smoking is taking drugs, police would have caught me long ago. (:

hmm.. it's just part and parcel of life lahhs. everyone will have their own paths to go and meet their own turning point. prince met his in NS. or rather, a lot of guys will have their turning point in NS. why? cause from what prince said, NS will teach you a lot. teach you how to endure, both physically and mentally. why? cause at the end of the day, it's either you LL suck thumb or you sign extra. so, which one you want? -.- well, prince did change a lot, but he's still as childish as ever. -.- though at times, he's trying to act mature. HAHA! ^^ and, for guys who go NS and don't meet their turning point, it's gonna be 24, 25 or even 26, 27 years old before they really meet. -.- it's not easy to meet THAT point. some people met it in schooling times but some people just don't get to meet it so often. i only met mine last year. HAHA. 20 years of living but most of the years i've spent being a clown, wearing mask. damn dumb when i think about it.

anyway, sky is enlisting next tuesday. hmm.. probably prince would wanna spend some time with him, together with the skaters on monday. and monday, SENTOSA!!!!!!!!!!! ^^ hahas.

okays, i'm hungry. time to find food! (:
byebye.

and ohh! weather is kinda suck thingy. =/