sick.

i think i'm down with flu. coughing and sneezing the whole time today. gosh. fuck. plus there pain at the lower rib bones. god damn it.

and the medicine keep me so drowsy. sleeping and sleeping the whole day. i slept at 1 plus am last night and woke up about 45 minutes ago. -.- what the hell. like a log. queen said i seems to be dead cause she called my name and i didn't respond. -.-

didn't go work today.. on MC. kinda having worries in my heart.. worry if everything goes well.. worry if anything is missing. worry if it's busy.. hais. feeling so bad. i didn't wanna go on MC. but queen insisted me to have the MC. she was even thinking of getting more than one day. but i told the doctor one day is good enough.

i don't wanna be look upon as a ' MC-er '. i don't like that. even when i was at starbucks, i don't usually have MC.

hais.. why does time seems to pass slower when i'm working in IC than when i'm working in starbucks? am i really enjoying myself over at IC? am i? is this what i really want? or it was a mistake all along? that i mistaken the benefits of it. what i truly wants.. is a place, where i really enjoy working at. where i truly want to treat as my second home... but... am i having it? or am i just deceiving myself, forcing myself to blend in to this new life i'm trying to cope with?

fighting hard, fighting strong. that's why i'm never engage in any sales or retail line. i'd rather choose F&B though it's tougher. but i enjoy myself. i like the way customer is being served. i like everything there. if, ever i have a chance to overturn the situation, i will definitely do.

cause i came to realise,

i'm not happy working here at all. all that they ever provided me with, was the companionship and the fun of everything but, never work. the difference is too huge for me to take.

suddenly, i feel so weak in emotion. just need someone to be there for me, yet again.

*baby, i need your presence. :(