i'm going back to malaysia soon. lols. :)

hahas, like the title said, i'm going back to malaysia soon. very very soon. yarh. for my cousin's wedding. she's 19 this year, and she's getting married already. well, like i'm not? lols. she said she's happy. i'm happy for her too. :) maybe in a few years time, she'll be attending my wedding. but i wonder if she can be my bridesmaid then. cause she ask me to be her bridesmaid mahh. so wonder if i can ask her to be mine too. hahas. lols. like i don't know lahh. hahas. :)

i wasn't home for like, the past 3 days? i mean i came home, in the morning. hahas. lols. mummy didn't say anything already. she used to scold me whenever i stay overnight outside. but no longer for now. hahas. :) lols. i know i still gotta be a good girl. shouldn't make her worry anymore lerx. :) since she trust me to take care of myself, i must be able to take care of myself. hahas. :) i love mum! :) hehees. so so much.. hahas.

' i'm waiting for the day.. when my friends attend my wedding.. and you're my wife. i'm waiting for this day to come.. do you know that? ' -- zac.

zac told me this last saturday.. lols. cause i was very moody.. then i feel that i don't suits him anymore and that i'm no longer the kat he wants to be with. i'm a changed person and i don't deserve his love anymore. : and somehow, i feel like leaving him cause i think he deserves a better girl. then he told me that sentence. :) hahas. he's never told me things like this in this four years. the sweetest thing he does was.. on valentine's day of 2005, he bought a bouquet of blue rose and fetch me from school. hahas. but now, that sentence change my opinion of his sweetness for me. also on the same day, at night. he ask me,

' can you not leave me anymore? ' --zac.

what a day it can be.. so sweet in one day. so weird. but the feeling is nice. :) hahas. :) though i didn't give him any promise. but i feel happy, just by hearing what he said. :) if only he can always be like this. that'll be great and we'll be a happy couple, from now on. hahas. [ i hope he'll be able to make me love him for the rest of my life. ] i've loved him.. always. hahas. [[ love for you fon't die easily. ]]

haix.. i don't wish to be fickle minded. but sometimes, under certain temptation, human got touched by certain things and feelings developed. feelings are hard to control. especially when you're attached, you gotta restrict your feelings for other people. feelings is one of the hardest thing to control in life, who don't agrees? not many i can say. couples who has been together for years broke upp and married couples divorce after years.. why? change of feeling is most probably the main reason. we meet different people almost everyday in life, even when a stranger come to you to ask for direction, you gotta meet a new person.. don't you? even couples themselves meet new people, at certain places.. with different characters, personality, hobbies, things the adores and loathes. we're human, with feelings and thoughts. not robots, with installed programmes. we can control our feelings and thoughts and not like robots. we're different from machines. we gets tired over certain things and we need rest, we need breaks. to recharge our energy and to boost our energy. some people knows how to control themselves. while some don't. when feelings are grown, we're bound to be concern. but somehow, certain things are more than just concern.. [[ when i fall in love, it will be forever.. ]] my believes that feelings are within ourself and only we, ourself can control our own feelings towards the things, the people around us. no one else will be able to do it for us, except ourself. we gotta do things and make decisons ourself. it's our life afterall. :) your future is in your own hands -kat mentality. hahas. :)
i feel loved now, i've got a mum who understands and love me lots now, a boyfriend who no longer is like before and love me more than before. a bunch of buddies who loves me so so much as well. a group of skaters who accompany all the time. i love them all. especially mummy!!! :) i love her plenty. :) hahas.

to: krazeric
you know where you stand in my heart. i don't need to say so much. as long as the sky stays, we'll be friends forever. you know me best. :) thank you boy, for being there when i'm sad. when i need someone to talk to.. when i need you to be there. you've been nice. [[ miss happy wanna spend every happy moments with mister happy ]] it's referring to you.. you've brought me lots of happiness since the day i first know you. :) you've been a great friend. i like you. hahas. as a friend. i like friends who brings me happiness. just like you. :) thank you.. so much for whatever you've done. even if it's just by talking to me and keeping me accompnied, it's enough.. thanks. :) why do i like, say until as if i'm not gonna see you anymore? lols. i will see you.. very soon right? though you're in NS now, yet you still take out time to reply my messages. it's very nice of you to have done that already. though it's just companionship between us, but the feeling has been nice for you too, boy. hahas. hidden messages for you. :) lols. let's take a picture one day.. to keep as memory. lols. :) hahas. hmm.. okay lahh. that's all for you now. take care. *LOVES. hahas.

life is so wonderful sometimes. i don't know why, but i feel that my life is wonderful sometimes. god has been fair to me. he made me a stronger person as compared to last time. i'm no longer a cry-baby. i'm a strong girl now, not physically but mentally. thanks to my friends too.. especially qianhui, chuit, yuzhen, nicole, wilson2 and maria(valencia). yupps. it's nice to have them with me. life's great with them.. well.. not forgetting krazeric. hahas. i love all of them to the core. they rocks my life. :) hahas. :)

okay lahh.. enough of me for today. tired already.. nights nights. *LOVES. *huggies*