lols. i'm feeling moody.. i wanna be happy..

back here today. now at convention centre. with guan cheng and sam beside me. later having compro. haix.

as expected, i need to retake my eltech. i failed. arghh!!! so irritating. don't know lahh. i'm so bored here now. just edited my friendster. yupps. hmm.. just now qianhui message me when i'm in eltech lesson. phone ring and like, lecturer teaching? hahas. yahh.

i couldn't get him since last night 10pm. he didn't pick upp my calls. don't know what he wants.. i don't know why, he make me feel that he still likes lynn.. i feel so insecured. i don't wanna have some distance between me and lynn.. but he seems to make this dificult for me to do so. he keep mentioning that if not because of lynn, we wouldn't be together. i'm like, are you telling me we're here, still together, not because you wanna be with me, but because you listen to lynn? he's making me feeling betrayed. again.... why must he say such things? why must he make me not feeling good to see lynn? why must he?? i'm trying hard to accept lynn's presence but why is he making it difficult for me? why?? must i really hate skating and disappear from east coast then he happy?? i don't know.. life's getting harder each day i'm with him.. why can't life gets better?? i'm feeling so terrible. so moody.. so sad..

haix.. qianhui ask about us just now, to show concern.. what else can i tell her? i'll only tell her the same old thing.. until she really finds me so stubborn until she cannot stand my stubbornness.. haix.. don't know.. i hope my perserverance can bring some happiness to me in the end.. it's impossible for me to fully let go of this long run relationship.. i won't be strong enough to lose it.. i won't be strong enough to handle my emotions. for i need him more than anyone else.. he's already part of my life, part of my body and soul.. i can't let go.. and it's facts.. haix.. hmm.. yahh..

ohh my godd.. other than him, there's nothing i think i could talk about.. cause i know, as long as i didn't settle the problem between us, i won't have the mind to think about anything else.. okays lahh.. people, don't worry about me.. i'll be fine.. i hope to find the happy kat back again soon.. real soon.. take care all.