recently, i suddenly feel that i'm unable to give dada happiness. it's like, i don't seems to be able to be the perfect girl in his eyes. i can't change myself for him.. caus ei find that once i change myself, im no longer me. i wanna ba who i am now and not anyone else. i'm better off being myself. i seriously feel this way.. but..... dada wants me to change myself to another personality and i feel really uncomfortable doing it.. thus, i feel that i'm not a good girlfriend and i think he'll really be better without me. saying all these, i'm feeling upset but.. what can i do? i really feel very confused now. what should i do? i wanna keep hiim with me. but i don't wanna see him sad.. it's not just i love him now. i want him to stay happy always. but i can't do it.. i didn't make this happen.
haix~ so vexed over this the pasrt two days. yupps. wanna let my sorrows out but feel that i shouldn't trouble anyone. cause they have their own problems too. why should i add on to their burdens? i feel kinda bad doing that.
exams are coming.. shouldn't i care about my studies now instead of all these? but nothing can stop me from thinking about him. simply nothing can. even myself also cannot. i just can't help but to think about him. even when i'm angry with him, he's still in my mind. every second.. every minute.. why? maybe he can't even be bothered with whether i'm happy or sad? maybe he won't even wanna know what's in my mind now. cause he simply doesn't care.. all he care about is himself..
haix~ don't know lahh. i feel kinda sick? mentally? yahh.. feel so lousy and sucks now. seems like i'm making my life difficult for myself because i care too much? but.. isn't this what i'm suppose to do when i'm in a relationship?? it takes two to clap but why he don't understand this? haix~ don't know lahh.. ARgHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
school also don't seems to good either. rumours have been passing around about me and sam being an item by darren. i hate him mann! i seriously hate him. can he just stay out of my peaceful life? can he stop all these nonsense? can't he understand that whatvever he does will affect the friendship between me and sam? and it might affect both me and dada, sam and yvonne[my primary school friend, sam's girlfriend.]? he better not cross the line before i eventually go over to him and give him a tight slap. he's getting up my nerve. he better be remorseful now. ArGhhH!!! sucker!
life's getting from bad to worse. i feel so much stress coming towards me now. feeling very very stress. i need to find a way to reduce my stress. i seriously need to. i know i have been cheerful all these while. but it's just to cover up my unhappiness and stressfulness. this is the only way i can keep my friends and loved ones no worries. i don't want them to think so much about me. yahh.. haix~ i'll be okays. so no need to worry also.
hmm, okays bahh. enough of all these ler lahh. wanna put my present's pictures lerx..
Blue Rose From Dada.
Dolphin Pendant from Mummy! :)
Necklace From Maria and Wilson2
Watch From Yuzhen and Chuti.
Present From Qianhui and Junfeng.
all my presents!! :P
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