Insane.

I think i went insane. over Dota. =/

i didn't sleep on Thursday just to play Dota. i Dota-ed for total of 17 hours that day. =X I'm going crazy.. Shit. =S Was so damn tired. =/

Last night training, nothing much. Do the normal stuffs.
Rookie Com in two weeks?
EEks. I'm so sick of competition actually.
but ohh wells.

I've got Photos to upload. But I'm so Lazyyyyyyyyyyy.

okays, actually I'm troubled. By my own thoughts and feelings.
Me, as a person who is always cheerful and happy, I don't like this feeling of being troubled.
I'm someone who loves laughter and nothing in mind.

I read Lynn's blog few days back. and she was there grumbling about the truths and lies issues.
PERSONALLY, if I'm her, i would mind a lot as well.

I, cannot stand my boyfriend to be with me after he slept with a girl.
I, cannot stand my boyfriend being a bastard like that.
and this incident definitely is gonna cause some distrust for me in my boyfriend.
and it's definitely not gonna be any better if the truth is not out.

Sometimes when i know/ found out things that i shouldn't know about my Prince. It's not i don't wanna confront him or question him. I'm just waiting. to see if he's the heart to confess himself or admit his wrongdoings. And i call this, Chance to repent.

But apparently, sometimes he thinks his Princess is dumb enough or really that stupid that she doesn't know a single shits. He forgot his Princess will always have her ways to figure out the truths. and of course, I've got this sixth sense that tells me whether I'm right or wrong. And I did told/warn him before not to ever lie to me cause i REALLY REALLY hate liars.

I'm someone who can break up with my mate because he lie to me for your infor. Cause as i said before, when i'm harsh, i can be hasher than you ever imagine.

Cause to me, Trust is very important in a relationship. and what builds up the trust is truths. You use your Heart to treat a relationship and not just using your fucking mouth to sweet talk. That's why i never like guys who sweet talk a lot. To me, guys who sweet talks are just talking to cover up their lies. Pathetic people, cause they can't even be true to themselves.

okay, never mind. back to myself. Yes i'm troubled. I'm unhappy now. I'm frustrated now. I feel like slapping someone real hard or let me punch somebody. Too bad, the one who will always cheer me up isn't here. Ben, i miss you. It's always at these point of times, I'll think of Ben and miss him so much more than usual. Cause he's someone who's always there for me no matter what. He's someone who really know how to cheer me up. and i need that now, Ben. =(((