sad.

can you people tell me what will you do when you're really upset?

lock yourself in a room, emo?
blog and emo like an annoying pest?
go out?
cry?
eat?
sleep?
ignorance?
skate?
swim?
cycle?
listen to music?
blast trance music?
spend money shopping?
or work until you die?
talk to friends?
talk to family?

what will you do?

i think, a lot of times, i put them in words and blog it down.
or i'll choose to lock myself up from deep within my heart and pretend to be a happy person.
or i'll sleep and sleep and cry and cry.
skate like mad with trance music blasting at my ears.
and of course, eat A LOT.

some people may think by doing all these, i'm trying to get attention and sympathy from people who reads my blog. if you're one of those idiots who think so, then too bad. my intention was never that. -.-

i blog, so people whom i'm close to, people who wants to know about my life get updated about me. others, i don't really care about how you think. cause you're just an idiot, who means nothing to me.

if just so happen you pass by my blog during your ' blog-hopping ', then leave this blog alone. cause it was never meant for you to read. you're not in any ways important to me. people whom i'm not close to, scram.

i don't need anyone's pity or sympathy. cause if you think i need, actually you're the one who needs it more than anyone else. -.-

i always say, i'll be alright. don't worry. and i mean i just need time to adjust, adapt and accept. not because by saying that, let you think i need more attention from you. i never like to be to dependent on others, not even prince. i've always believe i can be independent. and i know what's right for me and what i should be doing. thus, i don't need your pity nor sympathy.

if you think i need those ' kindness '. then look into the mirror, and you'll see the person who needs them most. and, definitely not me.

i care about people who are close to me. i will wanna know more about them. wanna be there for them. but not be there to make them feel pitied or anything else. if you don't know where you stand in my life, you just stand there, don't move. and it'll be enough. i don't need you to move too close to me, cause basically, i'm not really interested to know about you that's why i don't approach you.

god's been quite fair to me, i believe. and i remembered i once said, life's never fair, it depends on how fair you make your life is. till now, i still believe this. well, if you disagree, i don't need to know cause this is my personal feelings. disagreements don't mean that it'll change MY views.

has anyone ever regretted what they've done in their life? for the past twenty years, there was only one regret that really makes me feel very hurt. and even thinking about it now, it still hurts. but it's all over and i've picked myself up from that fall. yet now, i think the second biggest regret i'll be having is, wasting my time on things that are not important.

i hate myself recently. hate myself for not studying hard last time. hate myself for not working hard in school. hate myself for being just an O level student. hate myself for leaving school. hate myself for fooling around when i had such a good chance to study hard. really, i hate myself. very badly. if only i had done well. if only i hard studied hard. if only i'm not who i am now. then, i think i'll be a much happier person than now, at this point of time. i could have earn much more than what i can. and i need not give up on something that was dear to me. need not give up on something i love.

i feel like a dead person, lately. no life, listless, lifeless. and everything seems to be meaningless.

god, get me outta this sadness. for i hate myself being like this.

i'm tired.
byebye.
photos, another day.