back. (:

i have been so so away from blogging. LOL. anyways, have been busy working lahhs. and accompany prince. nothing much. haven't been clubbing. :( i think i could still rememeber the last time i clubbed. 28th september at velvet dragon. :( sad.. like, one month ago? fucking long lahhs. hais... but what to do.. for someone i'm not going.. least he angry.. or rather, unhappy.. :( i'm nice okay! (: i love my boyfriend. (: hahas.

anyways, had lots of feelings recently.. hmm.. happy.. sad.. confuse.. disappointments.. hais..

HAPPY cause i'm finally working at a place which i really found myself. don't have to put on a strong front to cope with what i don't like to face. don't have see people's 'face'. cause i've got colleagues who are so caring, so nice, ao attentive and understanding. a manager who cares so much and is so nice and funny. love them all. and the working environment. (:

SAD cause i thought of the past. couldn't get rid of certain past and they keep reminding me about sadness. i long hoped i could get rid of those past. but never, they never fade. it'll be gone, for a while.. but it'll be back to my mind eventually after some time. this is sickening.. but.. what can i do? problems lie with me. i can't get rid of them. fuck up feelings but no choice but to handle them myself. cause no one else can do it. sometimes i just wish.. i could just sleep and never wake up. cause i wouldn't have to think anymore. but does it solve my problems? no, it doesn't.

CONFUSION was led by my sadness. if only my sadness leaves, then my confusion will disappear. but sadness couldn't leave me. don't know what to do also.. what should i do? i'm brooding over the past. apologies won't help. neither do telling me not to think so much. what should i do to stop myself from brooding over the past? basically nothing at this moment...

DISAPPOINTMENT cause i think i can lead a much better life than now. but my sadness and confusion stopped me. what the fuck are you thinking kat? get a life and stop confusing yourself. wake the bloody hell up!!!!

arghh! that's how i scold myself. it's okay. :(

took lesser photos recently. so not much photo to display. hahas. TOO BAD! (:

hmm...........................................................................

i just started a new character in maple. a prue luk sin. (: ENDLESSKATTY. prince wants me to start it with 'endless' so yarh... yupps. level 16 now. lols. didn't really train lahhs. haha. only weekend got some time then train. LOL.

okays. time for bed. gotta work tomorrow.. 6pm-4am. cool timing yeah? people sleeping time i working. LOL. hahaha.

anyways, i got a BIG abrasion on my left knee. :( result of falling after doing a left parallel... -.- last night's elite team training. :( sad. PAIN!!!!!

okays... zZzZ.... nights all.

take cares.

(: