i'm home! (:

hahas. back from malaysia! (: hehees.

leon, pris, jas, dm.. i miss you all too! (: thanks for all the calls and messages. =] will see you all later! (: now is saturday yeah! (: hahas. BBQ~ yayy! hahas.

been away to malaysia the past few days.. missed singapore.. err... not really though. enjoying the relax life there. seeing my newborn nephew.. hearing my mom's naggings. -.- tell you all what my mom nag at later. (: hahas. it's funny. but oh well, all moms are like that. isn't it? nag and nag and nag..

it was a last minute decision to leave for a while.. hmm.. not very though. told pris and dm the night before i leave. but yeah.. to the rest it is bahhs. just feel like leaving for a while.. feeling so confused.. don't know what i should do.. hais.. so decided to go back and have a break. yeahh.. but it doesn't seems to help much by going back though. -.- well, whatever.. hais.. sighss..

my cousin gave birth to her second baby boy.. edwin.. seeing that little boy.. really small! much smaller than his brother.. -.- so light and he looks weak.. feels weak too. and here's where my mom's nagging comes in. -.-

my mom said : ' SEE YOUR COUSIN IS 21 THIS YEAR BUT SHE ALREADY GOT 2 CHILD.. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE. SO WHEN ARE YOU HAVING YOURS? '

this is damn random.. i was carrying the baby boy when she said that.. -.- i'm like, what the fuck? was just thinking.. to raise a kid in SINGAPORE is NOT cheap. you can have 3 in malaysia but only 1 in singapore! see the difference??? -.- having a baby in singapore cost a BOMB! really. -.- but well, this shows mom wants me to settle down soon. or probably she hopes i'm getting married soon. -.- maybe it's time to start finding a guy whom i wanna settle down with.. this guy is not bev, so don't think it's him. yeah..

i've gotten an answer from bev, which makes me feel relief.. cause all these while, perhaps i'm just waiting for an answer, or maybe that answer from him.. yeah i got it. yupps. thanks bev. (:

WHO DOESN'T LONG FOR SOMEONE TO HOLD, WHO KNOWS HOW TO LOVE YOU WITHOUT BEING TOLD.. SOMEBODY TELL ME WHY I'M ON MY OWN.. IF THERE'S A SOULMATE FOR EVERYONE.

hahas. nice song. (:

tomorrow's is vanvan's birthday. going for her celebration.. (: yupps. thinking about birthday.. was thinking how should i celebrate mine. HAHA. (: yupps. my 20th birthday. LOL. i wonder if uncle keegan's gonna be in singapore. hahas. he's coming back on the 11th next month. yupps. missed him so much. hope he'll be back soon. (: hehees.

well, just read chloe's blog. heard about her sad news.. but well, girl, life is like that. we never know what will happen next.. things usually seems fine.. but end up it's not. hais. this is the part and parcel of life.. the paths we have to go through. paths we can't avoid. maybe things will be back to what it was.. maybe it don't. but whatever it is, live your life well.. take good care of yourself. and remember, love yourself.. (: and be happy..

to turn around or walk away? i don't know. will the same things happen if i turn around? or will i regret if i walk away? i don't know. i'm so confused. i could still remember clearly how he asked me to fuck off from his life.. i could still remember how he scolded me and embarrassed me in front of my friends. i could still remember what he's done. i like the way i am now and i don't wish to just lose it like that. feeling so care-free and happy. i can't bear to lose everything i have now just with one decision. i enjoy what i've been doing all these while when i'm alone. meeting my friends, suppers, hang outs, chats, mahjong sessions, swimming and sauna sessions. all the outings.. so fun.. so nice. hais.. i don't wanna just lose everything like that. i wanna keep everything with me. all these happy memories..

bottle tree, he once said he would bring me there. but the one who brought me there are my friends. dm and pris.. yishun dam.. he once said we'll go there. but my friends are the ones with me there. vivo for movie.. he once said he would go there with me.. but the person who brought me there is bev. mount faber.. he once said he would bring me there for dinner. but the one who bring me there was shaun. he once said so many things he would do with me.. but none.. he did none. empty words. am i suppose to believe him again? am i? he once said he'd be mine forever, he'll be with me forever no matter what, he made so many promises last time. our vows.. the promise to be there for me whenever i need him, the promise to shelter me from rain.. the promise to lend me his shoulder to cry on.. the promise of promises.. all are empty. just words.. nothing was done.. what does 12 stalks of rose means? what does 9 stalks of rose means? what does 3 stalks of rose means? nothing.. all the efforts.. are nothing no more. maybe things will just stay like this.. will it change? i don't know..

came back last night, home around 12am. rushed out of house to rink a while.. pass lynnee the present i bought for her. then left with jaslyn and joseph.. dropped at parkway to find steph they all. she leaving for shanghai for five months. :( gonna miss her so much. :( then slack there and stuffs. had a nice session with them. love them so much. but sorry darlings, i made you all worry.. :( sorry.. million sorries. but i still love you all so so much! (: thanks for being there always. really.. (:

when i was back in malaysia.. i watched the taiwan show, 公主小妹. damn nice lahh! (: rate 4.5/5! yupp! go watch!!!! (:

okays. i think i'm done blogging. getting naggy eys? (: BYE!!~~



为什么我始终会舍不得?