all good things come to an end? nahhs.

need i say more? =]

okays.. firstly, i know when i break this news to everyone.. there will be people who is pissed.. people who is sad.. people who is disappointed.. people who lose hopes on me and of course, people who may cry.. hais.. all i can say is.. this time round.. i'm all prepared for all these emotions.. very prepared.. right on the day i made my decision..

i know i'm being contradicting.. bev and zac.. hais.. this two person are the main male leads in my entire life now.. but.. between the two of them.. i can only choose ONE. and i made my choice already. and he is zac. as for bev.. if we're really meant to be.. fate will change and bring us together.. no point waiting for him.. knowing that i may not get what i want in the end.. yes, i don't deny i wanna be with bev VERY VERY VERY much.. but i'm tired.. always showering my feelings for him.. still care so much about him.. yet he always said things that cut through my heart and they're killing me.. bits by bits.. this is not what i want. yes we do have happy conversations.. that's only when he has no one to talk to and happen he saw me online.. then he talk to me to kill time.. i don't mind.. i seriously don't mind.. even if it takes me to call to him in australia.. i also don't mind.. knowing my mom would scream and yell at me when she sees the bill.. i also don't mind.. but i hope the least he could do is to talk to me nicely all the time.. all these while.. i have been telling myself it's okays.. he has his own reasons for doing so.. and each time he's cold towards me.. i tell myself he's busy with school and he's having problems with studies. it's okay, don't mind so much.. i've done all i can to show him how much i need him and want him.. but.. he have no response.. steph always tell me he has his reasons. okays.. i buy them. but why don't he tell me? all he need to do is to confide me and be truthful to me like what we used to be.. even if it's a SUPER far distance relationship, i have strength to carry on.. but he did none.. yes, even until now i know he has his reasons.. but be it good or bad.. i'm letting go.. upset i am but disappointments is more.. i'm tired.. and here i'm gonna say.. as for me and bev.. heaven will decide for us. don't worry about me.. i'm taking things easy and positively. =]

and as for zac.. he has been treating me very nice.. treating me like his little princess. =] thanks darling! =] and i'm happy with him now.. for he really changed quite a lot.. and i feel blessed now to be with him.. of course, he knows about my feelings for bev.. and i'm trying hard to forgo the feelings i have for bev cause i know it won't be fair to zac since i've made my decision. =] yupps. nevertheless, sometimes the past is haunting me.. and past experiences actually accumulate my phobia and fears that i have from zac.. yet i tell myself to forgive and forget.. to start afresh. and i hope this time round.. zac won't be like the past.. yupps.

zac darling! i hope you know chances don't come by easily.. this time we were separated for fours months and if not for your friends around you.. especially rick.. i doubt we would be back together again.. so really credits to your friends. =] of course.. you do touched me in some of the things you did and said to me.. but seriously, only CERTAIN out of the SOME is convincing. =] hahahahas. nevertheless, i'm glad i have you now.. thank you.. for loving me and pampering the way you've never done before.. as for me and bev.. no promises.. but i'll try my very best.. and stay loyal.. now that everyone knows about us, i suppose your mind is at ease? =] don't worry.. whosgoing people is aware about my status.. friendster.. etc everything is showing.. =] hope we can be this fine in the future.. =] i love you baby. =] xoxo.

alrights.. i'm done with my post.. need to get ready and go out lers.. going to zac's place to meet him then go to east coast. =] hahas. bye people! =] update soon. RAHHS!