part 2 - my rejections.

wells, i just got home from airport. now is like 9:29am? and i didn't sleep at all. i'm wondering how am i going to survive later. bev, give me some power. :( ohh my godd, like i'm fucking tired? SHIT. HOLYSHIT. anyways, sorry for my foul language. i'm nasty when i'm tired. feeling fucked upp when i'm tired.

anyways, when i was airport just now.. i had the feeling of saying bye on 27th january 2007. and was feeling super emo. super duper emo. upset.. how i wish that.. 27th january 2007 never come. and the day is 26th january 2007 FOREVER. and maybe things wouldn't have been what is it today. my life will be MUCH BETTER. and i'll still be a happy person ever after. yarh.. how i wish. HOW I WISH!! fuck that shit. it won't happen. -though i hope it will.-

back to my title. I WANNA REJECT. REJECT THE TWO GUYS. ohh please, i drop them like super duper fucking huge hints that i don't like them.. i'm waiting for bev. which part of the hint they don't get?!?!?! stupid piece of shit. well, i'm in bad mood. sorry.....

to bernard :
ber, i know you've been really nice and sweet to me. and i believe you're aware that i've bev in my heart. so please stop telling people i;m your girlfriend when i'm not. stop asking me to love you when you know it's not possible. stop telling me you miss me cause i don't really wanna know. i know i'm mean saying all these.. but i've already drop you a huge hint that says " I STILL MISS MY AUSTRALIA EX VERY MUCH. " is this sentence not obvious enough? then what do you want me to tell you? tell you to fuck off and wake upp your bloody idea? i don't wanna be totally mean to you cause you're my secondary school friend. i didn't wanna hurt your feelings so i drop you hints. i can always be your friend but stop your fantasy about me. friends friends friends and nothing else. AND, no matter how much you're alike to bev, i don't wish to know. cause you're not bev and you can never replace him. please understand this point. i treat you like an elder brother. nothing more than that. you can never give me the feeling that bev has given me.. cause you're not him, as simple as that. sorry.. i'm saying all these not because i'm pissed but because i hope before things get worse, it'll stop. ber, i know feelings can't be controlled. but love takes two. not one. if you still refuse to stop this.. all i can tell you is, sorry, i'm afraid i'll be avoiding you. so please.. don't force me to that extend.

to daniel :
well, i don't know if you'll get the chance to read this. but if you do.. i hope you get this into your head. firstly, I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL. not even as friends. you're just a worker from beach hut. and we hardly have conversations. the shocking part is you're like asking every of the crew to talk to me. now worse is your boss even come and talk to me. hellos? what the fuck?!?!?!?! why the hell it involves your boss? this is ridiculous. ohh my godd. please be more mature.. are you expecting everyone of them from beach hut to come and talk to me and get us together? well, sorry.. right from the start.. the answer is NO. cause i don't even know you.. and it's like.. WOW~ the whole beach hut knows. hellos? don't you think it's just infatuation? well, i don't mind making friends with you but please.. do something that a FRIEND will do rather than go round telling like, fucking everyone? you make me scared of you. and please.. don't always suddenly message me stuffs like, "hey is that you at the cashier?" well, is this some kind of stalking? ohh my godd. this is scary. you make me feel that you're watching everything i do and i don't feel comfortable at all. please i hope you can stop this.. and EVEN IF you're watching me, please don't ask me if it's me. cause it's really scary.

well, that's all i guess.. for this two guys. luckily krinze is not like that. at least he know how to leave me alone. and.. i hope krinze stopped his so called ' crush ' on me. whatever~ hopefully. he's just like a brother to me. nothing more than that. yupps.

had a chat with my granny on the way to airport.. told her about me and zac. and she told me a little of her story.. with my granpa. wells, life's like that. everybody goes through ups and downs. is mine consider down? i think i'm hanging in the middle. whatever. ARGHH. i need bev's hug. a tight hug from him.. but.. bev, can i hug you again? :( you're the only one i wanna have in my arms now..

it's 9:58am now. i think i'll go and take a rest and go to work. yupps. bye all.